totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
They have beer where we have blood.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
