She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
