Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
