Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
