forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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