oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
