Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
