Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
