Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
im holly from the hills drunk
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
