We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
