They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
