You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
