What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
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I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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