I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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