The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
