two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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