don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
