don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
