Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
