My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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