I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
