My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
