I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize