His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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