why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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