I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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