i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
