there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
