so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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