If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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