8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
