If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
