He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
