i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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