If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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