Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
