come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
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The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
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I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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