Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
