I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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