question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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