dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
