There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
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