Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize