Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I love you. Go after that dick
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
