he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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