The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
