I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
