We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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