I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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