That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
