K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize