Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
