you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
being pregnant is like rehab
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize