you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
