Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
