She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
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Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
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She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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