Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
