Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i out mim tonsoeep
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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