Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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