if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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