xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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