He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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