Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
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