I heard we made out
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
That accounts for only three of the penises
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
