Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
