party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
